We live in a celebrity culture. No doubt about it — if you’re famous, you’re fodder. But we have to have standards. Not every little thing these so-called starlets and celebutantes do is newsworthy. Paris goes to jail? Report it. That MILF from Sex in the City might have a sex tape? Let’s see it.

But now a line has been crossed. Today, the venerable Pink Lady of journalism, People Magazine, published the following story:

“Lindsay Lohan, (was) warming up after getting caught in a wind flurry outside Lisa Kline in Beverly Hills. The actress headed into the boutique, browsed through the dresses – then picked out two sweaters.”

That’s it. That’s the story. Lindsay bought two sweaters. Never mind the fact that People’s erstwhile journa-lames couldn’t even tell us what colors the sweaters were or how much they cost. Could I get at least some flies on my turd?

Somebody please tell me how this shocking development qualifies as a story in a major national magazine. What Columbia journalism grad, slumming it at People, swallowed her dignity and wrote this tripe? Did she volunteer for the sweater beat, hoping that if she proved herself, she’d get a shot at a story about slacks in the fall?

I can’t wait for People’s hard-hitting story about Ashton Kutcher’s sideburns, or their in-depth look at Mary-Kate Olson’s socks, or their exclusive about Roger Clemens’ sweaty jockstrap.

Rant over. Now excuse me while I go read Highlights Magazine so I can get some of my brain cells back.

(And yes, we know LiLo’s not wearing a sweater in the above picture. Would you rather see her with a sweater? Honestly? Didn’t think so.)

People

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