Reality TV star Kim Kardashian is considering taking out insurance on her voluptuous derriere.  The socialite, who claims to be amazed by the attention her buttocks receive when she’s out in public, says she hasn’t insured it yet, but “I think I should look into that.”   Insured???  Her butt???  Will it suffer structural damage in a earthquake or be scorched in a wildfire?  Somehow fall prey to global warming?   Burst like a levee, forcing thousands of displaced families to live in FEMA trailers?   Be stolen for meat by poachers?    Will her dates have to sign a Collision Damage Waiver before riding around in it for the weekend?  Will overexposure and high mileage weaken it so it’ll only be held together with a flimsy skin of Bondo and duct tape?  Insurers beware – a dumper with that kind of payload will depreciate faster than a Humvee in Fallujah – it’ll probably be dragging sparks before the ink on your contract is dry.  

monsters and critics

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