As Paris Hilton’s birthday celebration entered its fourth grueling month in Las Vegas this weekend, concerned federal agencies considered stepping in to curtail the expanding swath of environmental destruction.  Authorities tallied the damage wreaked by the gala, which has no apparent end in sight:  

·         The celebration has spanned 22 states and 37 cities, nearly as many as the presidential candidates.  Private jets, limousines, and automobiles have traveled an estimated 110,000 miles, pouring 38 tons of cardon dioxide into the atmosphere; paparazzi and publicists tracking Paris have traveled an estimated 700,000 miles, creating 231 tons of CO2.

·         Five distilleries have been working full-time to produce enough vodka for Paris and her entourage, belching 20 tons of CO2 into the atmosphere.   Additionally, smoke from candles on hundreds of birthday cakes have added another 3200 pounds of carbon dioxide into the ozone.  

·         Since the celebration began, Paris has worn 157 different outfits, costing the lives of hundreds of cattle and tens of thousands of silkworms; manufacture and delivery of the clothing has burned a staggering 3000 gallons of diesel fuel, and laundry another 600.  

·         55,000 gallons of fuel oil have been burned to make the plastic for water bottles consumed by Paris, her entourage, and the pursuing press, and 1400 more gallons to make the latex to provide Paris with condoms and rubber underwear for after-parties. 

According to experts, if Paris Hilton wanted to carbon neutralize her birthday celebration, she’d have to plant enough trees to fill the Willamette National Forest, which stretches for 110 miles along the western slopes of the Cascade Range in western Oregon. 

Daily Mail

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