Sex Lies and Hollywood

Jamie Lynn Spears had her baby shower at the family homestead in Louisiana over the weekend; according to People Magazine, it was a small gathering, with 30 guests including her big sister Britney.  The party, held at the family homestead, was a ladies-only catered celebration for the Zoey 101 star, who just turned 17 last month.   “Jamie Lynn opened every gift,” says a source. “We all sat in a circle and she opened gifts and thanked every person. It was just a good old-fashioned baby shower.”   According to sources, gifts included a school lunchbox with illustrations of Lamaze exercises, an EZ bake oven configured to boil baby formula, and a subscription to Weekly Breeder Magazine. 

Fox

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Jamie Lynn Spears’ fiancé Casey Aldridge,18, allegedly pulled a gun on a photographer attempting to take a picture of the couple.  Great start for Jamie Lynn – shotgun wedding at 16, fiance with a gun charge – white trash hall of fame, here we come! 

az central 

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Using the facts that 16 year old Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant, engaged, has a hit show, and is Britney Spears’s sister, a professor from a leading university has compiled a statistical abstract predicting the arc of her life and career.   Though we don’t have space to print the whole piece, here is an excerpt projecting her life at 30:  “In the year 2022 when she’s 30, projections show that Jamie Lynn will probably have 6 Grammy Awards and 5 Emmys.  She could also have 8 kids by 7 different men, 5 of them husbands (statistically, 2 of her husbands would be barren).  3 of the kids will be conceived during stints in rehab, 1 during the making of the 4^th sex tape that makes it onto the Internet, and 1 conceived by the prison guard she’d later marry.  At 30 she’ll likely become engaged to billionaire socialite and entertainer Kevin Federline, who’ll bring 11 children of his own into the marriage; the couple will live in his octuple-wide trailer.”  

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