In an obvious snub of Heather Mills, Paul McCartney performed the song “Live And Let Die” and dedicated his lifetime achievement award at the Brit Awards last night to the woman who inspired the song, his first wife Linda. Meanwhile, according to music industry sources, Heather spent the evening Ferrari-shopping with royalties from the song. 

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“I’m going to buy enough legs to become a giant millipede, then I’m going to crawl into Paul’s house and eat his flour and the bindings on his books and his Cadbury bars!  And when he gets up to pee in the night — which he does because he’s old and weak — I’ll be in the bathtub and he’ll see me out of the corner of his eye and he’ll be terrified!  He’ll try to swat me with a magazine but my legs will be made of super-hard acrylic polymer and I’ll wave them at him all at once like those tentacles that hang down in a carwash.   Once I’ve beaten him to a bloody pulp I’ll escape out the window and go to America where everyone will be nice to me and Yoko and I will be best friends and I’ll have a new line of perfume.”  

accesshollywood.com

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From Dear Old Blighty comes word of increased tension between Paul McCartney and the jitterbugging phlebotomist.  The latest squabble is over their daughter’s schooling; the former Beatle is determined that four-year-old Beatrice should not be educated privately when she starts in the autumn.  Presumably Heather is concerned that if the child is exposed to the lower classes, she could meet a scheming venal whore who’d try to milk her for her money and fame.  

 Daily Mail

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The man with whom Heather Mills had a six month affair while she was dating Paul McCartney has revealed that the amputee had an unusual erogenous zone – her leg stump.  According to her ex-boyfriend, film editor Tim Steele, “she used to massage one particular area and it gave her an orgasm.”   So after all this time and controversy and research, it turns out a woman’s G-spot is located below the knee behind the shin-bone, in an area only reachable by amputating her leg.   Damn.

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In this explicit photo she pulled down her top to expose her breats and opened her legs wide in this classic porn magazine pose.  Heather Mills flaunted her private parts in this sordid picture.  Across the pages of the magazine, a pouting Heather boasts: “I’m gonna drive you crazy with my body…”.   How can she deny these pictures?  A month ago, the estranged wife of Beatles legend  Paul McCartney went on TV and cried and ranted hysterically that newspaper stories of her porn past were untrue.  She was a “glamour model”.  The pictures say otherwise. 

News of the World

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