Sex Lies and Hollywood

Brangelina and the kids are holed up in Microsoft cofounder Paul Allen’s villa on the French Riviera while Brad hunts for a permanent home and Angelina prepares to give birth during the summer.   The couple loves France; according to a source close to the couple, “they’re eager to really live there full time – they love the language, the food, everything.   They’re also anxious to switch over to the French economy because it’s tougher and tougher to buy orphans in bulk with the weak U.S. dollar.”

 New Zealand Herald

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Sources in a position to have information regarding a secret wedding ceremony between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie confirmed to Star that the couple married in the French Quarter Wedding Chapel on Saturday.   A source close to the couple added that “if you’d like to get the couple a gift, you can’t go wrong with an orphan.” 

Star

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In a move meant to honor the actress’ late mother Marcheline Bertrand, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have bought a chateau in the south of France and will make it their family home.  According to insiders, the decision was also influenced by the fact that Brad and Angelina wanted to further expand their family while being sensitive to environmental issues.  “The European location will make it easier for them to tap into the international baby supply without expanding their carbon footprint,” said a source close to the couple.  “Positioned near the port of Marseilles, they can have palettes of babies shipped from Africa and Asia on tankers and containerships that are already carrying other items, saving jet fuel.  They can have cargo pods trucked in from Eastern Europe and Russia, crammed with children and babies.  With no transatlantic conveyance, it’s really very green.“  

Times Of India

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Angelina Jolie won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress in 1999, but a new report says that the trophy has gone missing.    According to sources close to Jolie, the actress said she “can’t quite remember – I may have traded it for Maddox.  If we really need it we could look for it in Kuala Lumpur, or wherever that one came from.”   

Times of India

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Authorities say Angelina Jolie returned from Baghdad empty-handed last week after learning how unaffordable Iraqi orphans are with the weak U.S. dollar. Sources close to the actress said with Hollywood at a virtual standstill because of the writer’s strike Jolie has been forced to scale back on her collecting and was considering acquiring new babies via e-Bay, craigslist, and even her own uterus. Orphans around the world expressed optimism that the writers would ratify their contract so “that pretty lady with the fleshy lips can take me to live with Maddox.”
 

MSNBC 

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Experts say that a tell tale sign of extreme weight loss and over exercise is pulsing blue veins. Besides the vein in her forehead,  veins have popped up on her arms, hands and wrists.  She still looks gorgeous but her explanation that “Someone saying to me that I’m thin is not a compliment. I’ve always been lean and this year I lost my mom and I’ve gone through a lot. I have four kids and I finished breastfeeding – it’s been hard to get my nutrition back on track.”  Yes, we all understand the pressure you’ve been under this year.  But she has to know that nothing is more important than one’s health.  You’ve got a great life but it will mean nothing if you are sick. 

Daily Mail

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