Lindsay Lohan’s re-creation of Marilyn Monroe’s photo shoot was such a hit for New York Magazine that Hugh Hefner wants a piece of the action.  Hef is hoping that LiLo will recreate Marilyn Monroe’s famous nude swim from her unfinished final film, “Something’s Got To Give,” for Playboy.   Lohan’s mother Dina is apparently enthusiastic about the pictorial, allegedly saying “Our goal is to completely demystify Lindsay by the end of the year.  In fact, we’re in talks to have Lindsay’s full body scan appear in the New England Journal of Medicine – we’re hoping she’ll be the centerpiece of their first annual ‘Inside Hollywood’s Hottest Summer Bodies’ issue.” 

The National Ledger 

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There are 362 days until the next Academy Awards, but studios and producers are already looking ahead to next January’s nominations.  “So far, ‘Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins’ is one of the funniest and most moving films of the year,” said a Hollywood insider.  “Producers are getting behind it, hoping that nothing else better comes out.”  The insider added that “Witless Protection” is the sentimental favorite for best achievement in sound design, and “The Hottie and the Nottie” is a grassroots frontrunner in makeup for costume design because Paris Hilton had so many cute outfits.  Paul Dabaragabetaragererian, president of box-office tracker Media By Numbers, also asserted that “Jumper”’s #1 finish two weekends ago put it in the running for several awards.

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In a move meant to honor the actress’ late mother Marcheline Bertrand, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have bought a chateau in the south of France and will make it their family home.  According to insiders, the decision was also influenced by the fact that Brad and Angelina wanted to further expand their family while being sensitive to environmental issues.  “The European location will make it easier for them to tap into the international baby supply without expanding their carbon footprint,” said a source close to the couple.  “Positioned near the port of Marseilles, they can have palettes of babies shipped from Africa and Asia on tankers and containerships that are already carrying other items, saving jet fuel.  They can have cargo pods trucked in from Eastern Europe and Russia, crammed with children and babies.  With no transatlantic conveyance, it’s really very green.“  

Times Of India

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Eccentric pop star Michael Jackson received word Monday from Financial Title Company that unless he pays off over $24 million by March 19, the Neverland Ranch will be auctioned off.  The auction will include the personal property inside, including all fixtures, appliances, and furniture.  According to a source close to Jackson, even the contents of The Gloved One’s private study will be sold, including an entire troop of Boy Scouts preserved in amber, a wax museum containing figures of the Williamsport, Pennsylvania Little League team, a life-size butter toffee sculpture of Jonathan Lipnicki, a “bait box” of fun-size Snickers and Milky Way bars, and a tile-for-tile likeness of the boy’s bathroom at the Hollywood Performing Arts High School. 

Fox News

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… Amy Winehouse’s head weighs more than her torso.

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Paris Hilton is returning to reality television with a show that will be about her search for a new best friend.  “Paris is tired of the haters,” a source told Usmagazine.com.   “She’s looking for someone new and cool who she can trust.”   A source close to the Hilton family expressed enthusiasm over the decision.  “Thank God that Paris is doing it this way,” said the source.  “Facebook and Craigslist are so antiquated and impersonal – if Paris wants to find a BFF who’ll really warrant the ‘F’s that stand for ‘friend’ and ‘forever,’ there’s no question a reality show is the place to find it.”   Paris is said to be enthusiastic about the project, though she allegedly told producers that if they’re really serious about finding her a worthwhile friend, they should offer the winner a $1 million first prize. 

Us Magazine

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Why are agents across Hollywood overjoyed that former exotic dancer Diablo Cody won the Oscar?  It isn’t financial — they’d have probably been happier if someone who wrote $150 million action movies had won.   But from a personal standpoint, many agents find that it’s a dream come true.  As a grinning UTA agent who’s married with three kids said in a voice mocking a world-weary husband, “Really honey, I only spent the night at Spearmint Rhino ’cause I was looking for writers with Academy Award potential.  I had back-to-back lap-dances trying to find the perfect person to do a draft on the new Batman script – no luck yet, but hopefully tomorrow…” 

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With no Mr. Right in sight and her biological clock ticking away, Jennifer Aniston has decided to take some precautionary measures and freeze her eggs.   Aniston apparently paid extra to have them stashed at an undisclosed location after hearing reports that Ted Williams’ frozen head often develops late-night cravings for omelets and goes from freezer to freezer, eating his way through entire bins of donated ova.   According to an anonymous technician at the lab where Williams’ head is kept, the situation is complicated by the fact that “Ted’s head is a huge ‘Friends’ fan, and it’s made no secret of its desire to eat Jen’s eggs.  We turn our back on that head for just a minute and we’ll find it in a freezer, munching away on something, tissue samples or whatever.  She had to put them in a secure place, just ’cause Ted Williams head loves eggs so damn much.”

entertainment.oneindia

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Zoey 101 star Jamie Lynn Spears has passed her high school equivalency exam, scoring particularly well on reading comprehension.   Jamie Lynn had to take the test because most of her education had been provided by tutors on the sets of her TV shows.  According to a Nickelodeon insider, the tutors are very rigorous with certain subjects like History and Science, but entrust topics like sex ed to the parents to ensure that child actors are given the kind of clear-eyed guidance that will prevent them from making the kind of mistakes a – oh never mind.

SFGate

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Jimmy Kimmel has answered girlfriend Sarah Silverman’s “I’m F*cking Matt Damon” video by airing one of his own called “I’m F*cking Ben Affleck.”   In an effort to not be left out of the late night fun, sources say that Conan O’Brien is planning to appear in a music video entitled “I’m F*cking Annoying.” 

 E! Online

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